Welcome to Maggie’s World!
Usually it’s someone else’s world, but they are returning a U-Haul right now.
Hello, dear readers, and welcome back to Maggie’s World! The longest running newsletter in America! Don’t bother trying to look that up because I am currently in your apartment and unplugging your router.
So, what happened this week?
Sunday night was the 2021 Met Gala, and the advertised theme was “In America: A Lexicon of Fashion,” but as with all Met Galas, the theme that we saw was “expensive museum fundraiser.”
In honor of the Met Gala, and because not every celebrity or designer can get everything right, I have decided to list some easy outfit alterations in the second installment of the fan-favorite segment Let Me Fix That, a segment in which I fix something that is wrong.
Let Me Fix That: 2021 Met Gala Edition
When one hears that the Met Gala theme is “In America: A Lexicon of Fashion,” one is expecting looks that push boundaries with design elements so iconically American that you know exactly where you are without having to Google it. Not everyone gets it, but that’s okay because I do. And so, without further ado, my suggestions.
Kim K
Kim Kardashian (West?) wore this black Balenciaga bodysuit. She explained this outfit’s relevance to theme by saying, “What’s more American than a T-shirt head to toe?”
And the answer is: a cowboy! Name another country that had cowboys. Don’t say Mexico or Canada. Actually, don’t say anything. Don’t name another country.
I really liked Jennifer Lopez and Tessa Thompson’s cowboy inspired looks because cowboys look cool.1 All Kim needed were a pair of boots, one of those belts with a pocket, and a hat! Consider this outfit fixed!
Anna Wintour
Anna Wintour wore this floral Oscar de la Renta gown. She explained her outfit’s relevance to the theme by saying that her look was, “an homage to [her] dear friend Oscar de la Renta” whose designs have shaped American fashion for, I don’t know, 400 years or something (research this before publishing). Anyone can see, however, that this is just a floral dress. No boundaries pushed here. Until…
You add a Boston Red Sox jersey!
The jersey elevates this looks from “dress” to powerful moment of American iconography. She could even get one that says “Wintour” on the back. When I wrote to Anna Wintour about this alteration, she said, “Maggie, you are the fashion consultant I didn’t know that I needed. Come work at Vogue.” Obviously, I declined because I’m not strong enough to operate the revolving doors at the Conde Nast building.
Olivia Rodrigo
Olivia Rodrigo wore this Saint Laurent bodysuit complete with lace and feathers. She did not explain her outfit’s relevance to the theme beyond saying that it was, “rock ‘n’ roll.” She looks stunning, but this look brings up hard questions for the beholder. Important questions like:
“What if, instead, Olivia wore a 100% accurate geographical map of the contiguous United States drawn by Maggie from memory?”
How American is this?! And perfectly accurate so as to include the Mississippi River, the Rocky Mountains, and the super-volcano in Wyoming?!! It even has the Erie Canal!
Megan Rapinoe
Megan Rapinoe wore a red, white, and blue suit by Sergio Hudson. Honestly, what’s the American reference here? Like, where’s America in this look? Disappointing. Confusing. Americans don’t like disappointment or confusion, but you know what they do like?
Apple TV’s Ted Lasso’s own Ted Lasso!
Complete with Apple product placement, if Megan Rapinoe had just altered her look a little bit, she would’ve had the most iconic look of the night! If the Emmys are any indication, there’s nothing Americans love more than Jason Sudeikis doing…something very interesting indeed…
Timothée Chalamet
Timothée Chalamet wore an assortment of items, including a satin Haider Ackermann tuxedo jacket, a Rick Owens turtleneck, and some white Chuck Taylors. Trying to dunk on men’s fashion at the Met Gala is usually a losing game because it is so shockingly horrible and bad that I end up sounding like I’m complaining that the sun is on fire or that a candle is on fire or that I knocked over a candle and my apartment is on fire. The reactions to my complaints range from “yeah, of course” to “you need to get out of the house more and right now.” Similar to everything Timothée Chalamet’s involved in, regardless of the fact that I like it, I’m mad at him and I don’t like it. He looks foolish and stupid and nice. Whatever. He’s cute. He’s not really cute, though. God, he sucks. But it’s okay because I fixed it!
Ta-daa!
Inspired by AOC’s dress that people think is bad but also brave but sucks and is inspiring but basic, I thought a message this important should be simply spelled out. Icons supporting icons. That’s the Met Gala.
At the end of the day, the Met Gala both is symptomatic of a sort of putrid darkness in our society and looks like it would probably be fun to attend. Actress and model Indya Moore summed up some of this quite nicely, not to mention the fucked-up and nebulous space of what “American” means in the context of this event. If you asked me, I’d say there’s a version of “American” that this whole thing embodies perfectly, but it’s not really something that should be celebrated with a party.
But what have I been up to?
Call me, Ishmael. Let’s go for drinks!
I have been sort of iconically Ahab since we last spoke. I landed an interview with a job I have been chasing since 2018 and made it to the final round of applicants. Hundreds of applicants, narrowed to six interviews, narrowed to three finalists, narrowed to two open positions. I was, famously, that third person. I will not stop (dis)qualifying my failure with that detail.
It’s sad because I didn’t know that I had a shot before. Now that I’ve had a shot, my failure feels personal and not random. Maybe this is what that whole “our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure” thing is about.2 It’s frightening to think you might have some control over the things that separate you from your goals. If it’s not actually a crapshoot, then maybe you’re playing a game that isn’t just chance. Maybe you should be good. Maybe you could be great. If I had just come off a little different— a little smarter, funnier, less nervous, more energetic— maybe it could have been me, and I know that could have come off a little different.
It’s also sad because I let myself believe it could be me. I started to imagine the next six months of my life with that job, settling into that life, being that person. When it evaporated, I felt like I had lost a version of myself that I liked. I felt very lost indeed.
It’s mostly sad because I bought a blazer for the interview and now I have a blazer that reminds me every time I open the closet that I don’t need it because I’m not quite good enough.
It’s been a few weeks, so I’m not so down anymore. Maybe I’ll find another use for the blazer.
Living in New York is lifting my spirits exponentially. Every time I go out to do something, even something dumb, I feel like something good could happen. Even when nothing happens at all, I think gratefully, “this is just one of those times when nothing happens right before the time when something happens.” I wish I could apply this attitude to the job search, but I’m not perfect.
In closing,
Thank you, readers. A writer without a readership is like a serial killer without a bunch of victims that all look like a woman that disappointed him in the past. If any of you know someone looking to employ a writer in NYC, that would be something worth messaging me about. If any of you has a picture of a cute dog, that would also be something worth messaging me about.
Speical thanks too Maddie Anderson whom proofred this for typos!
Until next time!
See: Toy Story (1995) or The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)
Apparently, this is a Marianne Williamson quote? I always thought it was Nelson Mandela because that’s what Akeelah and the Bee (2006) said. Very weird.
Excellent Fixes...Bravo! For what it’s worth...I say “Make a Bold Move and Ditch the Inadequacy/Power Blazer.” ...or trade it in at any one of the Fantastic Consignment Shops in NYC for a “New Vision” piece of apparel... but one that won’t simply remind you that it is the replacement for the jacket that you bought to come in 3rd place. Unless the Jacket really suits you, then...well...keep it...I guess. But, in my humble opinion that choice would be “Tepid” at best. Mind you this all goes under the heading ‘ Take My Advice - I’m Not Using It.’ from a gal who still has a few pastel Power Suits with huge Shoulder pads in her closet from the 80’s... Yes, I’m your Mom’s age.